running to lose weight and gain your soul

nearly two and a half years ago my wife and i were blessed with twin boys. they are brothers in every since of the word. they look out for one another, they disrupt one another, they play together, they laugh together, and they cause mischief together. life gets hectic after you have kids. you seem to forget about things you used to do, or liked to do, or did because they made you a better person in the crunch of scheduling feedings, playtime, bathing, parenting, and nurturing your own marriage and life. in short, it seems that every moment of those first days, weeks, and months of parenthood are sucked up by controlled chaos. you can't remember at times how you got from 6am to 6pm, and yet you eventually begin marking days, activities, and occurrences by the schedule that runs your life.

sometime within the past two and a half years and a well-developed and monitored schedule i quit running. it was a slow burn out really. leading up to the time that we started thinking about having children i trained for and ran my first marathon. i marked my days by a different calendar during those months. it was long runs, tempo runs, weekly mileage, and rest days. after that race i started to slowly drift away from running. it wasn't a conscious decision, but as is often pointed to in situations like this, life simply started happening. i stopped lacing up my running shoes, started making it from one feeding to the next, worked a 9-5 job in between, and quit making time to run. and i paid for it.

it wasn't a quick change in my life that indicated i had totally stopped running. i didn't throw out my running shoes, or abandon the solace of running on a cold morning against a crisp wind blowing into my face. i simply irregularly trotted out the door on a whim. and that's all running was to me for nearly a year and a half. when it struck my fancy i took to the roads and felt the twinge of inability to do what i once could do with little effort. inevitably at the end of the run i would tell myself i was out of shape, needed to run more often, or at least exercise in some way.

i can't tell you what happened exactly. it wasn't a magical moment that changed things in my life. sometime around a year and a half ago i stepped on a scale. i was at my heaviest weight and i could visibly start to notice not only clothes not fitting, but pictures of me looking differently and close family members gently suggesting that i had put on a few pounds. around this time i was unemployed for the first time, to be followed by a short stent of employment, and now entrenched in nine months of my second tour of unemployment - and that perhaps has been the biggest change. i had plenty of idol time on my hands after doing household chores and job searching every day. so i started to run again. and slowly it came back to me, much like the feeling of riding a bicycle for the first time.

reminding myself to take things slowly and to not push too hard too fast were difficult concepts. running slowly became something that i was doing again, was feeding my soul again, and was a priority. i gained the perspective that to effect change in one's life requires making priorities that can facilitate the achievement. after a while the pounds started to come off. and after a year and a half i have lost 40 pounds.

i was recently asked if i had any tips to help people who are looking to run in order to lose weight. this is what i shared:

1. keep pushing yourself to accomplish and work towards your goals. the best way to do this is to set concrete goals with concrete checkpoints, i.e. sign up for a 5k in the future and that will help keep you motivated to keep running and working toward a real event.
2. find someone to run with you. running can be an intimidating sport – it always seems like everyone else knows more than you – but the benefits of having a running partner or group far outweigh the drawbacks. it will be built in accountability for the days when you’d rather stay in bed. my brother provides that for me in the form of picking races for us to run together. i can’t let him down by flaking out simply because i haven’t been training – it keeps me going on the bad days.
3. my running mantra has gotten me through many a workout and run that i simply wanted to quit – “practice not quitting. practice not quitting.” pick something that will help refocus you on your ultimate goals and take you out of the present moment of pain, discomfort, or disillusionment.
4. there will be good days and there will be bad days when you are running consistently. don’t get too down on yourself when you are not seeing the results you want to see during a run. remember: there will be another run this week and you can work towards your goals then.
5. finally, to use a racing metaphor, this is a marathon not a sprint. losing weight through running will take time and will be a combination of exercise and change in diet. while the results may not be immediate, they will come and you should celebrate them when they arrive. 

ultimately when i consider my running journey the pounds gained and lost are inconsequential to regaining a part of who i am. there is no bigger joy for me than when i come around a final turn, into the view of the finishing chute, or just through the front door of the house and two toddlers are cheering their dad on. 

it doesn't have to be running. we all lose the passion, excitement, or fulfillment of hobbies from time to time. choose today to reclaim that hobby and regain part of who you are. happy running.

have you ever slowly lost a hobby that you found out later made a big difference to you?

the air of pain

my training lately has centered around time goals. slowly shaving seconds off of miles takes hard work and dedication. it isn't enough to just go out and put in your miles. you have to commit yourself to running harder, faster, and approaching, even surpassing, your thresholds of pain. one thought has consistently been repeating itself in my head during the endless footfalls of my runs:

in the stratified, thinly layered air and altitude of pain, it is a more mental than physical game. you must neatly, quickly, and efficiently dispense of the thought of pain and suffering stopping, slowing, or altering your pace. pain is but a natural consequence of the elasticity of the human form. 


happy running.

to rabbit or not to rabbit

elmer j. fudd, he of looney tunes fame, famously and dubiously, we might add, proclaims, "be vewy vewy quiet. i'm hunting wabbits!" it was and is a constant battle for him to catch these said "wabbits." the same cannot be said for runners.

rabbits are a pacing mechanism used in some races by elite athletes to hit goal race finishing times. the theory goes that the rabbits will pace the lead group for at least half of the race distance at the goal pace time in order to help them attain a specific finishing time, most often of the record (course, national, country of origin, world) variety. one could rightly ask, what would be the point of these mechanisms otherwise? the rabbit has a predetermined pull-off point at which they stop running. not fall back to a slower pace, but literally stop and quit running.

the wall street journal has an interesting article running today about the ban on rabbits in the new york city marathon. for several years the race organizers have eschewed rabbits for tactical racing. the idea behind this runs something like this: when you eliminate people employed in a race for the specific purpose of pacing the lead runners to a goal time you require the runners themselves to manage and dictate that pace over the total duration of the course, not just part of it. it also requires that the runners accept the mental burden of running in a tactical race for, say 26.2 miles in the case of the marathon, versus part of the race, say 13.1 miles in that same case of the marathon.

i have run competitively, granted not at the same level as people running for a living, and found that one of the most difficult parts of managing a race in order to achieve a desired outcome is the very lack of knowledge of the runners you are running against. in most cases you don't know what their race strategy will be. will they try to lead from the front the entire race? will they yo-yo their pace in order to test the strength, fitness, and endurance of the other runners? will they have a back half pace of brutality that is designed to see who has the most heart in a race rather than the fastest legs? in other words the mental game of furtive glances at the runners, watching as a runner disappears around a corner at a pace you can't maintain in that moment, or playing your cards at the moment you feel is right by accelerating the pace on a hill, flat, or downhill in order to pull away from those around you is not an easy game. it requires an extraordinary amount of mental toughness in the moment.

do rabbits hinder these game? do they steal from the beauty and art of play that unfolds over roads, trails, and fields as runners perspire? and are the two even mutually exclusive? do rabbits inhibit tactical racing?

what say you readers and runners? rabbits or no rabbits?

the trail

when i need a place that will be quiet, involve minimal human interaction, and be intensely focusing i head to the trail to run. trail running is one of the most physically focusing activities i have ever done. you are always on. you can't stop paying attention to the trail ahead of you, under your feet, your surroundings (who knows what animals are out there), and the quietness of the trail. it is this quietness that leads to an even deeper level of focus. the sounds of your breathing and exertion are magnified and the necessary decisions of stride length, pace, intensity level exerted on uphills, downhills, and flats become critical, footfall placement and quick recovery from misplacement of steps are crucial. all of this happens in split second decisions that if ignored can result in painful falls.

there is a depth of truth to running on trails that puts on display your fitness level, your strengths and weakness, the rightness or wrongness of the decisions you make. once you are out on the trail whatever happens is coming back in with you whether it is a looped path or an out and back. and this i know: there is no other place, despite all that goes into each and every step taken, in which i can focus on everything else going on in my life and find answers, peace, calm, and a sense of being centered. 

i hope you know of where that place is for you. where do you go to be centered when you need it?

just one more page

i finished a book yesterday by one of my favorite contemporary authors. blood meridian: or the evening redness in the west by cormac mccarthy is a beautifully, although strikingly violent, written book that borders the apocalyptic genre of writing. it is true to his style of efficiency and economy of word with scenic description paramount to the story. in fact, the scenic venues of the narrative are a character worth study in and of themselves in his writing.

i'm not here to do a book review though. i'm here to admit that i wanted one more page to tell me the rest of the story. to explain the untidy closure of the story. to fill in the rest of the timeline of events. have you ever wanted that in a story? i can comfortably disclose to you that i am most often o.k. with books that end without clear resolution for all of the characters, or a philosophical ending leaving the reader questioning whether or not they read the characters correctly throughout the book (think life of pi by yann martel here). but for some reason, this ending nags at me. perhaps this is the mark of masterful authorship.

what are you reading? have you ever wanted one more page in a book? what book?

a running perspective

a friend wrote a great post on her blog a couple of weeks ago concerning crossing over the chasm of running for fun to running as competition. it is a great and insightful post. you should take the time to read it. i commented on the post, and in light of my most recent race performance they were good words to review today. (i think i just patted myself on the back in semi-public...uhhhh...that was awkward.) here they are, hopefully, for your benefit as well:

i often remind myself that it is about perspective. i have goals, and that is what keeps me motivated, but in reality it is more about the experience of pushing myself than what happens at the end of the race in my age group or overall field that reminds me why i run. i gain far more satisfaction from giving everything i have in a race than not and doing well; there simply aren't any nagging wonders about what could have been when that is the case.

happy running!

race report: marathon 2 marathon

(brief disclaimer: this is long. parts are more graphic in their imagery and details than others. skip those if you'd like.)

marathon, tx is a sleepy town. it is also the last place of civilization before you head further south to big bend. finally, it is a beautiful stretch of land, marked by the davis mountains to the west and mesas and ridges surrounding you as you dip and rise over the mostly barren land, save for a few cacti and mesquite trees. at night you can see so many stars that the dust-like span of the galaxy is majestic and awe inspiring.

on a lonely, quiet stretch of two lane highway runners gathered in the pre-dawn light of the morning to prepare to run 26.2 mi. some consider this misery of the purest form. others consider it an exhilaration of what it means to be alive. still others simply can't conceive of why a person would want to devote 3, 4, 5 hours of their lives to the pursuit of putting one foot in front of another for a seemingly endless expanse of pavement, concrete, and blacktop until their legs feel like quitting.

my brother and i chose to run this race after i had come upon it quite happenstance. i googled some reviews of the race and found nothing but good things to be said and told him we had to run it. for the past year we have filled our calendar with races we wanted to do with little restraint to location. as a disclaimer, this is not a race for someone who enjoys the running of the pack, a lot of people to pass ahead of you who foolishly started too fast, or throngs of people lining the road to cheer you, oh anonymous runner on in your pursuit of individual challenge and glory. there are few people, simple aid stations, and cars going either direction every once in awhile. you are more likely to hear the voice of the local sheriff, ems personnel, or random race organizer asking you if you want water, need anything, or are doing ok than you are a spectator cheering you on or a fellow runner chatting about the pleasantries which runners are want to exchange during a long distance race.

a rolling course of sloping hills up and down persist for the entirety of the race. up and down you go as you climb from ~4,400 ft. to ~4,800 ft. of elevation at the peak of the race and finish mostly downhill over the profile of the race. to call it specifically downhill is not tell you the truth. the biggest climb was at mile 22ish and i wasn't sure it was going to ever end, but i am getting ahead of myself.

i felt prepared to run this race. my longest run in training was 23 miles. i ran that distance a couple of times before the race. the last time i finished the training run with a good amount of energy feeling i could have continued for several more miles. i declared myself ready, was confident, and believed that i could run a 3:30 marathon. if it were a perfect day, with a great run, i thought i had the outside chance of running a 3:15. my training plan, which wasn't necessarily "textbook" consisted of running 3-4 times a week. i have been "blessed" with injuries in my running history mostly of the over-use variety. so i wanted to train smart, stay healthy, and show up to the race with a realistic chance of running a great race. i feel like i accomplished that goal.

race morning went off without a hitch. we showed up to the race with good time to spare. we made our ritualistic forays to the port-a-potties or ranch fence -- hey, this is west texas afterall -- and i was ready to go. after saying our goodbyes to our support crew, my wife and sister-in-law who should win an award for the support they gave throughout the race leap frogging us in the car, i toed the start line.

the first several miles were flawless. i was running about a 7:45 pace and felt confident and comfortable. i actually wondered to myself at one point that it was fairly effortless with the cool of the morning. this is about the time that the problems started. i have been running for nearly 20 years, and running races through much of that time. i have never had any stomach or gastro-intestinal (gi) problems. today was my day. i felt awkward and wondered if it was simply food settling in my stomach. at some point between miles 6&7 i decided i would pull off and try to relieve some pressure on my bladder, aka urinate over the fence. that didn't work, i simply didn't have anything. about a half mile later i finally accomplished that, but still felt bad at this point. eventually i wondered if i could make it to a port-a-potty on the race course. the first one i saw, with some relief, a runner several hundred yards in front of me pulled off to use. at this point i was in the unenviable position of deciding whether or not to wait. i am glad i didn't. he must have been in there for awhile, because despite all my coming problems, i didn't see him again until well after the half way point of the marathon.

at mile 8.5 i knew it was desperate times and desperate measures were in my future. i started looking for the bush. you know the bush that in the empty west texas landscape would at least give me some muted sense of privacy while other people passed on the side of the road. it was either luck of a heavenly blessing that a bush, on the good side of the barbwire fence aka my side, that would be decent and not result in me displaying all of myself to the rest of the runners appeared ahead. i peeled off and did my business, with no tp. like i said, the operative word in all of this was desperate.

did i mention that we had a rockstar support crew? i knew they were leap frogging my brother and i as we ran. i knew he was behind me some way and that hopefully they would come along soon. i started running again, praying fairly earnestly that they would be the next car to creep by to no avail a couple of times. i then wondered how long it was going to take me to get to the next mirage of a blue box standing in all its glory. it was about this time somewhere between miles 9-10 that my crew rolled up and provided some napkins. it was relief of a kind that i hadn't known. chafing might yet be avoided for the remainder of the race. i had to stop again at the halfway point to utilize the blue box. this wasn't an ideal first half. and yet, despite all of this i looked down at my watch as i headed off and had covered the first half in 1:45. i was still on pace for a 3:30 finish.

because of my issues i had been distracted and focusing on my water intake had been a struggle. i carried a camelback which i had trained with for months and was comfortable wearing while running. i simply wasn't consistent enough in hindsight in taking in water. we'll call this foreshadowing.

the second half of the marathon settled in nicely. i started to feel some internal normalcy and reminded myself to simply run within my abilities and give it what i had left. and give i did. i rocked along passed aid stations and the few spectator cars feeling more confident as the miles passed.

about mile 20 i started to feel my calves tighten up. at juncture i knew it was only a matter of time before cramps set in and i hoped that 6 miles was inside that point. i was wrong. i had started to take water and gatorade in tandem with the liquid i was already drinking at the aid stations. when i hit mile 23, after the aforementioned hill of no end, the cramps won out. i was able to run about a half mile at a time before needing to either walk for about a minute to stretch out or to just stop completely and stretch. at about mile 24 it became pure pain as i had to stop about every 100-200 yards to stretch out my calf muscles which apparently wanted to evacuate my legs from either side of my lower legs.

i had given up all hope of finishing with a faster time and told myself that at all costs i could finish under 4 hours. it was a matter of want and desire. i trudged in (at least that's what it felt like) at 3:59:50. my wife urged me in under the 4 hour mark and i felt happy relieved exhilarated to be finished. i was disappointed. and if i'm honest i was really just mad at myself. i had trained, had the ability and potential, and didn't deliver the results i wanted. with some time between myself and the race, i can assess things more positively.

overall i placed 20th. i placed 2nd in my age group. i finished under 4 hours and dropped my marathon pr by nearly an hour. it was a good feeling. undoubtedly the most rewarding part of the race was eagerly waiting for my brother at the 26 mile marker and running him in the last .2 miles. for people who have never run a marathon there really isn't much more of a rush adrenaline and feeling of elation than those last tenths as you head to the finish. it was a moment i won't forget. we had trained for months and accomplished something many will not. it was more than just a long run on a saturday morning.

overall this is a great race. it is a niche marathon. there is little fanfare, but this is replaced with a level runner camaraderie that isn't matched in bigger marathons. we are tentatively planning on heading back next year. i have said before that every runner has good runs and bad runs. it is in the nature of pushing your body to do something to better itself. the same is true of racing. you have good races and you have bad races. so lace up those shoes, get out there, and run into tomorrow; you'll be better for it.