i am still looking for a job.
that is a somewhat depressing sentence to write. i have tried to fill my time each day with constructive activities, i.e. actually looking for said elusive job that is supposedly out there (at least that is what all the media outlets say about ATX), reading books i have come across, working on projects for a non-profit i am on the board of directors for, doing chores around the house, and running on some days. this is all great in theory, but these things become repetitive at best and teetering on boredom at worst. i am not sure it is a universal feeling (probably not, having at least some insight into human motivation from pastoral care work i have done), but any time that i am not looking for a job i get a twinge of guilt. i rationalize this to myself on almost a daily basis that you surely can't look for a job 24/7 or even 8/5.
what i do know is that this extended time seems to have slowly sucked the creativeness out of me. i have found that reading helps to provoke ideas in my head and running helps refresh my mind and soul for both motivation and the beauty of endorphin release. so, i try to be more disciplined about these things as the days pass.
update finished. on to a new idea:
i want to write about food. not only the importance of sustenance and what that means, but the connections to a life lived spiritually and how food plays a role in and impacts that life. but i want this to be communal. so what questions, ideas, quandaries, comments do you have? with questions i will do my best to answer. with ideas, quandaries, comments, i will do my best to respond. use the comment space below to participate.
sharing is fun; my mother taught me that. so share in this idea and exploration with me.
Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
qualities of a job search
patience and silence.
my wife can attest to the fact that i am phenomenal (probably to a fault at times) at the latter and not so phenomenal at the former. these are traits that i have known about myself for a long time in my short life. i appreciate running alone in the rain, left to my own thoughts of solitude. i struggle though to occupy myself for more than a couple of days and find boredom sets in when i know i would rather be working. my patience being tested while driving frequently results in high levels of in-car tension. but when my wife falls asleep in minute 21 of driving, i don't mind driving the rest of the 4 hours in complete silence to myself.
these are qualities and characteristics of a job search. it has only taken three days of unemployment for me to figure out which parts are going to be difficult for me to withstand and which will be un-affecting to me.
some years back i spent 7 weeks in costa rica studying sustainable development. while there one of the professors spent free time indulging the hobby of bird watching. it was something that i had never participated in, but having lugged my binoculars all the way to costa rica, i wanted to get some good use out of them, and this was a great opportunity. i wasn't sure what to expect of the bird watching experience. i am not even sure i can remember having any expectations. but on the first morning we traipsed out into the jungle i was hooked. we caught glimpses of three wattled bellbirds and the resplendent quetzal. it was majestic to wait, listen, locate, and see birds that are indigenous to that part of the world and are beautiful in their natural setting.
and so i was sitting on my back porch, sipping my morning coffee, and watching the bird feeder as it occurred to me that job searching is like bird watching. you have to combine and hone the skills of patience and silence. waiting and listening for birds requires a measure of patience for which i was tested at times. you can sit for agonizing minutes at a time hearing and seeing nothing. once you hear a bird, searching for, locating, and actually seeing that bird without them flying off is a fete of accomplishment at times and requires a desire to persist even when it isn't easy. and the first rule of bird watching is not that there is no bird watching, but that silence is prized only below seeing a new species of bird previously unlocated through the glass refraction of your binoculars.
job searching mimics this practice. you have to exhibit patience in waiting for and locating the jobs that you are qualified to apply for. once you apply you have to find comfort in waiting patiently and absorbing the silence of days passed and emails and calls unreceived. i can imagine that moment of ending the run of employment as breathtaking in its own rite, just as you skip a breath the first time you see a rare bird or hear its distinctive call in your ears.
and so i have come to the conclusion that i must continue refining the skills of patience and silence -- it will probably pay off in the long run, just like seeing the beauty of the birds.
my wife can attest to the fact that i am phenomenal (probably to a fault at times) at the latter and not so phenomenal at the former. these are traits that i have known about myself for a long time in my short life. i appreciate running alone in the rain, left to my own thoughts of solitude. i struggle though to occupy myself for more than a couple of days and find boredom sets in when i know i would rather be working. my patience being tested while driving frequently results in high levels of in-car tension. but when my wife falls asleep in minute 21 of driving, i don't mind driving the rest of the 4 hours in complete silence to myself.
these are qualities and characteristics of a job search. it has only taken three days of unemployment for me to figure out which parts are going to be difficult for me to withstand and which will be un-affecting to me.
some years back i spent 7 weeks in costa rica studying sustainable development. while there one of the professors spent free time indulging the hobby of bird watching. it was something that i had never participated in, but having lugged my binoculars all the way to costa rica, i wanted to get some good use out of them, and this was a great opportunity. i wasn't sure what to expect of the bird watching experience. i am not even sure i can remember having any expectations. but on the first morning we traipsed out into the jungle i was hooked. we caught glimpses of three wattled bellbirds and the resplendent quetzal. it was majestic to wait, listen, locate, and see birds that are indigenous to that part of the world and are beautiful in their natural setting.
and so i was sitting on my back porch, sipping my morning coffee, and watching the bird feeder as it occurred to me that job searching is like bird watching. you have to combine and hone the skills of patience and silence. waiting and listening for birds requires a measure of patience for which i was tested at times. you can sit for agonizing minutes at a time hearing and seeing nothing. once you hear a bird, searching for, locating, and actually seeing that bird without them flying off is a fete of accomplishment at times and requires a desire to persist even when it isn't easy. and the first rule of bird watching is not that there is no bird watching, but that silence is prized only below seeing a new species of bird previously unlocated through the glass refraction of your binoculars.
job searching mimics this practice. you have to exhibit patience in waiting for and locating the jobs that you are qualified to apply for. once you apply you have to find comfort in waiting patiently and absorbing the silence of days passed and emails and calls unreceived. i can imagine that moment of ending the run of employment as breathtaking in its own rite, just as you skip a breath the first time you see a rare bird or hear its distinctive call in your ears.
and so i have come to the conclusion that i must continue refining the skills of patience and silence -- it will probably pay off in the long run, just like seeing the beauty of the birds.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
waiting for it
a couple of administrative things to take care of first.
1. you should read jon acuff's blog. at stuff christians like there is much hilarity, but what is so attractive to me is the honesty which seems to shine through in jon's writing. he has written a book...so i recommend that you buy it and read it. i am willing to bet you will laugh while reading. a lot. i don't know jon, although it would be cool if i did, because he seems like a cool guy, but i think more people should read his stuff.
2. an update on my running progress: i have been running a lot and will run a 5k this weekend. more details to follow about that after the weekend.
on to other matters:
i am out of a job at the end of may. this, in some ways, has been looming over me and gives me some pause, at least daily, at this point. way back in august i was able to compartmentalize this without much thought, because...well...it was august and not february. but now it is february and i have few, if any, prospects. while diligently trying to look, enduring many questions about this on an almost daily basis, and generally beginning to despise talking about this fact, i have found that i feel less and less positive about the whole job-hunting prospect as days seem to tick by as though they were seconds.
to be sure, people try to be reassuring to you. i can list a litany of responses given to you, but let a few suffice: "you are so talented, i am sure something will come up for you," or "i would keep you around if i were in charge," or maybe my favorite in the bunch - "you just have to have faith that the right thing will come along."
all of these things are generally accepted by me with a smile and a nod...and a whole lot of internal screaming. at some point you decide, "if i were really as talented as people tell me i am, i should be the head talent scout of all talent scouts." through this i have noticed that our culture is one of niceties. we want desperately for people to feel good about things and ignore the fear, emptiness, and frustration that comes from the vantage point of comfort and luxury of an already assured place. and the last mentioned response simply chafes against my own theology that faith does not get you hired. to be fair, there is nothing inherently wrong with the statement. it assumes that my or anyone's getting hired is a matter of faithfulness and obedience in which i am objectified as an automaton. i digress.
all of this is not to elicit a response of pity from anyone, but rather to point out that our culture is excellent at filling appropriately silent space with words of false assurance. you can note a similar phenomenon when tragedy strikes those close to us. words are used in an attempt to fill a chasm of grief, shock, and confusion, and most of the time those words are pithy. perhaps presence alone is more resounding than words. this is definitely a concept i can literally feel myself learning.
so, i am out of a job at the end of may and the prospects are slim. i have genuine fear about what i am going to do and how things are going to end up. in moments of self doubt i question the paths of life that have led me to this point, or at times whether or not my theological stance is hindering a more comfortable existence right now. what i have learned most though is that neither of these things changes your prospect for a job or allays your fears. what does allay my fears is hope. hope is assurance in the unseen. it is paradoxical by nature, and it resides in a presence of family and friends who hopefully know what to say and what not to say.
1. you should read jon acuff's blog. at stuff christians like there is much hilarity, but what is so attractive to me is the honesty which seems to shine through in jon's writing. he has written a book...so i recommend that you buy it and read it. i am willing to bet you will laugh while reading. a lot. i don't know jon, although it would be cool if i did, because he seems like a cool guy, but i think more people should read his stuff.
2. an update on my running progress: i have been running a lot and will run a 5k this weekend. more details to follow about that after the weekend.
on to other matters:
i am out of a job at the end of may. this, in some ways, has been looming over me and gives me some pause, at least daily, at this point. way back in august i was able to compartmentalize this without much thought, because...well...it was august and not february. but now it is february and i have few, if any, prospects. while diligently trying to look, enduring many questions about this on an almost daily basis, and generally beginning to despise talking about this fact, i have found that i feel less and less positive about the whole job-hunting prospect as days seem to tick by as though they were seconds.
to be sure, people try to be reassuring to you. i can list a litany of responses given to you, but let a few suffice: "you are so talented, i am sure something will come up for you," or "i would keep you around if i were in charge," or maybe my favorite in the bunch - "you just have to have faith that the right thing will come along."
all of these things are generally accepted by me with a smile and a nod...and a whole lot of internal screaming. at some point you decide, "if i were really as talented as people tell me i am, i should be the head talent scout of all talent scouts." through this i have noticed that our culture is one of niceties. we want desperately for people to feel good about things and ignore the fear, emptiness, and frustration that comes from the vantage point of comfort and luxury of an already assured place. and the last mentioned response simply chafes against my own theology that faith does not get you hired. to be fair, there is nothing inherently wrong with the statement. it assumes that my or anyone's getting hired is a matter of faithfulness and obedience in which i am objectified as an automaton. i digress.
all of this is not to elicit a response of pity from anyone, but rather to point out that our culture is excellent at filling appropriately silent space with words of false assurance. you can note a similar phenomenon when tragedy strikes those close to us. words are used in an attempt to fill a chasm of grief, shock, and confusion, and most of the time those words are pithy. perhaps presence alone is more resounding than words. this is definitely a concept i can literally feel myself learning.
so, i am out of a job at the end of may and the prospects are slim. i have genuine fear about what i am going to do and how things are going to end up. in moments of self doubt i question the paths of life that have led me to this point, or at times whether or not my theological stance is hindering a more comfortable existence right now. what i have learned most though is that neither of these things changes your prospect for a job or allays your fears. what does allay my fears is hope. hope is assurance in the unseen. it is paradoxical by nature, and it resides in a presence of family and friends who hopefully know what to say and what not to say.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
it takes balance
life takes balance.
balance is not something we are good at in the good ole' u s of a. as a matter of personal opinion, i believe it is to blame for a lot of our problems in our country. think about it for a moment.
corporate greed -- out of balance contentment with sufficiency
failing marriages at alarming rates -- our of balance sense of commitment, what relationships should be
increasing and alarming rates of obesity -- out of balance self-care and dietary knowledge, not to mention marketing strategies of those companies promoting fast food
unchecked consumerism -- again out of balance sense of contentment with sufficiency
poverty in a country with more wealth than just about any other country in the world -- unbalanced sense of wants vs. needs on the part of those with wealth and power
i could go on for awhile, but i think the point has been made. we are out of balance.
in my own life this has shown up in several recent encounters and events.
1. my wife and i are close to closing on a house. we struggled a lot with what was enough space and how to best make a decision about location, layout, and design in order to promote a healthy balance in our lives and impact in the world. i hope we have made a conscientious and appropriate decision with the house we have chosen. what i do know is that this experience stretched me to think beyond myself. it forced me to think about how this decision would affect the unborn twin boys my wife is carrying and our relationship as husband and wife. it is by no means our dream home, but what i realized very early on is that i can be content in just about any home, but finding the balance of where contentment meets functionality is what would be significant in our search. this meant that there would be compromise on things and outright rejection of selfish wants on others.
2. i ran a relay marathon last weekend in coprus christi, tx. in some very irreverent yet genuine way, i felt that running in a city named for the body of christ was appropriate for the suffering that i inflicted upon myself. i knew i was going to run about 4.6 miles for months. i had done decent training leading up to the race, but with life surrounding me i let down the couple of weeks leading up to the race, and i paid for that. i ran poorly; i realized i was out of shape; and i came to the understanding that i have allowed my life to get out of balance in regards to exercise and self-care. i am trying to commit myself to more balance in that area in order to be a better person to be around, because i have learned that you cannot love your neighbor or your enemy if you do not first love yourself. that is why when christ tells us to love one another as we love ourselves it should have a shocking ring in our ears. we tend to love ourselves so extravagantly compared to the way we love others, but fail to do so for others. balance in our lives can lead to more authentic and significant service with and for others.
3. finally, a couple in our bible study is contemplating a job offer and move out of the area that we live in. while i have a lot of selfish reasons for wanting them to stay (i.e. i like them and they are cool people), i believe that the struggle they are experiencing in reaching a decision in the matter is one fundamentally of balance. they must find the balance of what is worth striving after and how to best care for their family and relationship. my best piece of advice is this: decide what balance is for you and make yourself resolute to maintain that balance. i believe in some ways god cares much more about us living wholly balanced lives of service in love than lives of erratic support. weighing the options of promotions, moves, family and friend connections can all seem overwhelming, but only two people know whether those things will be detrimentally out of balance if choices are made one way or another.
and in all of this, balance is not a juggling act so much as it is an exercise in self-knowledge and discernment. we must find what balance is for our own lives and protect that, even if it means, as one of my mentors once said, "saying no to jesus," because life takes balance.
balance is not something we are good at in the good ole' u s of a. as a matter of personal opinion, i believe it is to blame for a lot of our problems in our country. think about it for a moment.
corporate greed -- out of balance contentment with sufficiency
failing marriages at alarming rates -- our of balance sense of commitment, what relationships should be
increasing and alarming rates of obesity -- out of balance self-care and dietary knowledge, not to mention marketing strategies of those companies promoting fast food
unchecked consumerism -- again out of balance sense of contentment with sufficiency
poverty in a country with more wealth than just about any other country in the world -- unbalanced sense of wants vs. needs on the part of those with wealth and power
i could go on for awhile, but i think the point has been made. we are out of balance.
in my own life this has shown up in several recent encounters and events.
1. my wife and i are close to closing on a house. we struggled a lot with what was enough space and how to best make a decision about location, layout, and design in order to promote a healthy balance in our lives and impact in the world. i hope we have made a conscientious and appropriate decision with the house we have chosen. what i do know is that this experience stretched me to think beyond myself. it forced me to think about how this decision would affect the unborn twin boys my wife is carrying and our relationship as husband and wife. it is by no means our dream home, but what i realized very early on is that i can be content in just about any home, but finding the balance of where contentment meets functionality is what would be significant in our search. this meant that there would be compromise on things and outright rejection of selfish wants on others.
2. i ran a relay marathon last weekend in coprus christi, tx. in some very irreverent yet genuine way, i felt that running in a city named for the body of christ was appropriate for the suffering that i inflicted upon myself. i knew i was going to run about 4.6 miles for months. i had done decent training leading up to the race, but with life surrounding me i let down the couple of weeks leading up to the race, and i paid for that. i ran poorly; i realized i was out of shape; and i came to the understanding that i have allowed my life to get out of balance in regards to exercise and self-care. i am trying to commit myself to more balance in that area in order to be a better person to be around, because i have learned that you cannot love your neighbor or your enemy if you do not first love yourself. that is why when christ tells us to love one another as we love ourselves it should have a shocking ring in our ears. we tend to love ourselves so extravagantly compared to the way we love others, but fail to do so for others. balance in our lives can lead to more authentic and significant service with and for others.
3. finally, a couple in our bible study is contemplating a job offer and move out of the area that we live in. while i have a lot of selfish reasons for wanting them to stay (i.e. i like them and they are cool people), i believe that the struggle they are experiencing in reaching a decision in the matter is one fundamentally of balance. they must find the balance of what is worth striving after and how to best care for their family and relationship. my best piece of advice is this: decide what balance is for you and make yourself resolute to maintain that balance. i believe in some ways god cares much more about us living wholly balanced lives of service in love than lives of erratic support. weighing the options of promotions, moves, family and friend connections can all seem overwhelming, but only two people know whether those things will be detrimentally out of balance if choices are made one way or another.
and in all of this, balance is not a juggling act so much as it is an exercise in self-knowledge and discernment. we must find what balance is for our own lives and protect that, even if it means, as one of my mentors once said, "saying no to jesus," because life takes balance.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
patience is a virtue
on a what's going on in the world note: it's earth day. we should all care for our earth a little better today (and every day). ironically my wife didn't drive our hybrid today because we are taking it this weekend up to dallas to go to a wedding. that makes me laugh a little...and realize that i am a bit neurotic. so do something good for Mother Earth today.
i am looking for a new job. i think i mentioned that in my last post. it is a difficult process. you want everything to happen so quickly and yet so much requires a great amount of patience, which i struggle with at times. when i can see possibilities in something i am especially impatient.
but this is perhaps a curse of our culture. we are often a "hurry up and wait" culture. we want so much to happen so fast, so we can then wait for the result. seems a little out of balance to me. but we are also an impatient culture. we want immediate gratification, results, and success. we don't really know how to wait. maybe that is something that we should all work on collectively as a culture.
my brother gave me the following pearl of wisdom upon learning of my ill fate in my last job pursuit: "Good things come to those who wait and keep looking in the meantime." i found it both encouraging and appropriately prodding that i not be so quick to make things happen, rather that i exhibit a little patience in a world primed for quick results.
i am looking for a new job. i think i mentioned that in my last post. it is a difficult process. you want everything to happen so quickly and yet so much requires a great amount of patience, which i struggle with at times. when i can see possibilities in something i am especially impatient.
but this is perhaps a curse of our culture. we are often a "hurry up and wait" culture. we want so much to happen so fast, so we can then wait for the result. seems a little out of balance to me. but we are also an impatient culture. we want immediate gratification, results, and success. we don't really know how to wait. maybe that is something that we should all work on collectively as a culture.
my brother gave me the following pearl of wisdom upon learning of my ill fate in my last job pursuit: "Good things come to those who wait and keep looking in the meantime." i found it both encouraging and appropriately prodding that i not be so quick to make things happen, rather that i exhibit a little patience in a world primed for quick results.
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