vitality of the church

i recently participated in a survey about the structure and design of my denominational church. one of the questions in the survey asked the respondents to comment on what it meant for the church to be vital. below is my response to that question.

"Vitality within the church looks like diverse populations interacting to bring about authentic worship and participating in life giving, loving, and dignifying mission, community building, education, growth, and evangelism. I would be remiss not to also mention that vitality in part is driven by a desire to seek deeper communion with fellow members of the community through communal interaction both within and without the church. Most importantly, however, a vital church is one that is not defined by the actions of Sunday, rather the robust actions of the members throughout the week in their diverse settings. "

what did i miss? where did i err? what are you thoughts about what makes a church vital?

love

i realized as soon as the idea crystallized in my head that this was going to be cliche for the month of february...but there is no turning back at this point.

our little band of community that meets at our house every wednesday night (for about the past 4 years) has been talking about love the last several weeks. we have been talking about the way in which we show love to others in particular. and to be very specific, we have been chewing on the idea that we show love through action and how that changes us as individuals and hopefully as a community. it has been great and insightful conversation. we have been open and vulnerable with one another and shared deep examples of things going on in our own lives that are challenging us to show love. because love isn't always easy.

so i put it to my few faithful readers: how do you show love? and how does love change you?

I never do these things...

...but my wife thinks she is going to beat me. there really isn't a better way to motivate me than to make something a competition and/or give me a reason to set the record straight...

in any event, our friend Hilary posted the survey below, my wife took it, and challenged me to take it. i oblige only to give the truth to certain aspects of said survey.

Survey!

1.What are your middle names? Allen and Lynn (although her legal middle name now is Klosterman).

2. How long have you been together? Oct. 10, 2001 was our first date together. I am sure of this because I have a very good friend with a birthday on that day, and it helps me to remember these things to connect them to other things in my life. All psychology aside -- I invited other people, they couldn't go. I have people to vouch for this...she doesn't.

3. How long did you know each other before you started dating? About a year. She says I was close minded and arrogant...I say I was opinionated and not afraid to share that opinion.

4. Who asked who out? Reference #3 above for the story that I did indeed invite others to Red, Hot & Blue that night for dinner with us, but lucky for us it was just the two of us.

5. How old are each of you? The significant portion of this question is that if with age comes wisdom, I have more wisdom. But who is really keeping track?

6. Did you go to the same school? We did indeed meet at the oldest university in TX -- Southwestern University.

7. Are you from the same home town? No.

8. Who is the smartest? I would like an accurate accounting of our Trivial Pursuit games. We can even include the ones in which we played on teams opposing one another, because I have only lost once to her...

9. Who majored in what? Me: History with a double minor in Spanish and Philosophy; Her: Communication Studies and English

10. Who is the most sensitive? I am not outwardly emotive very often and can sit for an interminable period of time in silence. She is.

11. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? The UK and Wales.

12. Who has the worst temper? It takes a lot to get me mad, but let's just say we don't like those times.

13. How many children do you want? We have 3 month old twin boys. This isn't a question best answered today.

14. Who does the cooking? It is more equitable than she claims. Although her claim about my shepherd pie making skills are true.

15. Who is more social? We both like to be surrounded by friends and family. Heck, part of the reason we bought a house was to have MORE room for people to come over!

16. Who is the neat freak? I think we both like things neat and orderly.

17. Who is the most stubborn? My wife likes to think she is stubborn, but once I decide something there is little hope for change in the near future. Not to mention that I am willing to defend something that I don't believe in for the sake of an argument like I really believe it. I see it as a positive trait.

18. Who wakes up earlier? She does, but if I have something to wake up for I am willing to get up at all hours of the morning.

19. Where was your first date? Reference #4 above. Unfortunately it isn't there anymore. Damn these people taking away good bar-b-que places from me. We then walked over to Barnes & Noble where I read "Oh the Place You'll Go" to her. It was a smooth moment to be proud of.

20. Who has the bigger family? Good question.

21. Do you get flowers often? I get gifts when she buys things for herself.

22. How do you spend the holidays? Thanksgiving with her's, Christmas with mine, and tears from her no matter where are and we leave.

23. Who is more jealous? Her. I probably shouldn't say more though ;)...

24. How long did it take to get serious? I don't know!?! I just knew we had a good thing going.

25. Who eats more? Me. I am pretty sure I eat too much, but it fuels my desire to exercise so I suppose it isn't all bad.

26. What do you do for a living? I work at a university doing Religious Life programming and Residence Life work; she works at a technology company doing employee communications.

27. Who’s better with the computer? If it is about programming, it is her. If it is about actually solving things it is me, she hardly ever reads the documentation she used to write for programs!

28. Who drives when you are together? Let's just say it is best that I drive for everyone's well being! I kid, I kid...she likes to sleep if we are in the car more than 15 mins.

29. What is your song? “All I Want is You” by U2.

an open letter of delinquency

i am late. i am in debt and feel as though i have failed to do my duty. in debt to whom? i know not, but i feel it down deep in my soul.

life has been crazy in the past two months. the wife and i moved into our very own first home. it was exciting and stressful and far too hot to be moving heavy stuff, but it was rewarding. we love the house. we also had our twin boys! that was exciting and terrifying all at once.

and in all of this i have neglected this space. but i have been thinking of things to write about...so onward...

health care. oh man has this been a boiling point and hot topic. the president delivered his reform proposal last night, and it was, in my estimation, well thought out and comprehensive. i along with others do have questions about immigrant populations and the coverage hole with these populations and overall cost of the program. but i don't want to get into the specifics of what plan would be most effective because it is a far more complicated issue than the media, the politicians, and the public are making it out to be. on this point i want to elaborate.

the health care brouhaha has been decidedly reductionist. one side is content to throw stones at the other and vice versa. and the stones that are being thrown greatly distort the truth of the claims the others are making and more than anything are simply simplistic versions twisted to make the other side look insensitive and evil. perhaps this isn't anything to be concerned about...washington being washington...except that we are on the world stage, or at least we like to think we are...right...i mean...this is AMERICA...and well we set the world stage much less stand on it (if you haven't caught my sarcasm yet, feel free to take note now). and whether or not other countries care about what we have to say about health care (i surmise we overestimate our importance), the fact remains that millions of americans go without health care or health care insurance coverage because of decisions they have to make about putting food on the table versus paying a premium every month. and this is precisely the crux of the issue for me.

we have failed to remember that we are talking about and to human beings. and we have failed to claim any sort of civility in this process. since when did we decide that having differing opinions about policy give us the right to degrade, disrespect, or dehumanize other individuals? why do we feel the need to simply discount one perspective or another on the basis of party affiliation or worse yet false ideological claims put into people's mouths on either side of the aisle? i could probably live the rest of my life without hearing how anyone is going to bring socialism to any country without even a cursory understanding or proper use of the term socialism in the context of any sentence. i could also live the rest of my life without needing to hear about how uncivil town hall meetings become because someone believes so "passionately" about an issue. passion is not an excuse to berate another individual.

perhaps as americans we should take note of our own behavior in treating one another as sub-human and not be shocked when other countries find us to be inhospitable, unfriendly, uncaring, or maybe even dumb (to use a third grade insult). i feel like if anything, this issue alone has proved to me that those critics from outside our borders are probably more right than wrong.

i believe in order to come to an agreement about this issue, we must reclaim what it means to be civil. we will also have to be willing to come to the table and agree to compromise. americans suck at grace in the face of defeat, even when we all lose on some things and all win on other things. health care and insurance coverage are something that every individual should have full access to in my opinion. there are a number of different creative and perhaps risky ways to achieve this, but it seems silly to me in a country where we have abundant resources and material wealth that responsible people should have to make a choice between health care for themselves and their loved ones and food or shelter.

finally, as a note to those who claim to be followers of christ. i have never been more disappointed at the way we have represented ourselves in this debate and, in general, in the past and present political cycle. for people who claim to love and honor the dignity and humanity of others, i have seen little in the way of charity or respectful/constructive criticism of political ideology. i find this especially to be true in the way in which people talk about the president. the names, claims, and general language around the use of his name, the images associated with him, and disrespectful things said about him lead me to several conclusions. the first is that people who are not christian have a right to claim and believe that we do not indeed care about other people as we so often, emptily, claim to love others. second, we are called to be a people who look beyond petty affiliations and honor the humanity in another individual, even if we disagree with them ideologically, politically, or religiously. third, we are called to be a people that cares for one another and others without question. it is sad that i do not see more creative response from communities of faith in the face of a failing health care system. and lastly, if we want to be taken seriously by others we must first take them seriously. i believe our first response should not always be to legislate morality, rather that we should first want to answer for the humanity, dignity, respect, and love that we claim to show others. too often we leave these out of the conversation when they are the most significant pieces of the puzzle.

to my friends who are not christian, i sincerely apologize for the way we too often are delinquent in the claims we make as followers of christ and for failing to honor the dignity, respect, and love others deserve for nothing more or less than their humanity. we have failed to be the people we have claimed to be, and we treated others with disdain, disgust, and crudeness out of our own ignorance and self-righteousness. unfortunately i cannot change those things or make people act differently. what i can do though is promise that one person does not speak for the whole and one set of actions does not represent the hearts of all.

i am unimportant and insignificant. who are you?

gandhi is supposed to have said quite famously, "be the change you wish to see in the world." this is all well and good, but in my estimation it is difficult for most people to decide where to start that change.

last night in our community gathering we talked about a passage from matthew 25 where jesus tells to some a forlorn story. it seems harsh and as though it rails at people who are on the outside of a certain group. without boring everyone from here to timbuktu, let it suffice to say that jesus talks here of all nations being called to him. in other words, everyone has an equal shot. that is as far as i will go with this bit of exegesis, but if you want further explanation just ask.

perhaps what i think is most interesting about this passage though is that jesus suggests our actions matter. the way in which we treat one another is significant. i have studied the idea of community for the past 6-7 years. what i have learned in that time, both experientially and academically, is that it takes intentionality. so often we believe that it will simply happen. surely our desire for it to occur counts for something, but community does not simply spring up wherever we find ourselves. it is something that is developed.

more interesting still to me is that many people equate the words translated most often "least of these" in the passage to marginalized, homeless, poverty level people. i believe these people are included in this group, however i believe we let ourselves off the hook in suggesting this translation. a more accurate translation of this word in the greek could be the "less significant" or "unimportant." to be sure, any people we have marginalized or deemed beyond redemption have been considered unimportant or less significant than ourselves, but i think the meaning is broader and the implications broader still. i see this as a cultural reminder of the fact that all people are deserving of love and compassion, dignity and respect. it is as though jesus suggests that we are to treat those to whom we have no obligation in extravagant ways. we are to go out of our own way to make sure those people to whom we owe nothing and are not beholden are taken care of.

i imagine that first century jewish and roman ears would have heard this message pertaining to the cultural system set up to remind them that they had no obligation to those below them. they owed taxes to caesar and the state demanded your complete obligation. but you had no obligation to the infirm, those outside your household, and certainly to those you had no business interaction with. in our 21st century haze, the message remains the same. we talk as though we have obligation only to those we see most often, work for, or have a nationalist allegiance to, but the reality is we are called to treat all people with love, dignity, and respect.

for the pragmatists out there who are connecting the dots and want the how-to of the lesson of communal living, i suggest the following: it begins and ends with intention. we must be intentional about how we interact with other people. we too often, in my opinion, fail to recognize the amount of responsibility and creative authority we have as humans in relation to god. we participate in a grand way as co-creators with god. and in america specifically i believe this starts with vulnerability. we must learn to talk about ourselves in unguarded and authentic ways. we too frequently hide behind masks of who we want others to see us as, and then wonder how we never know the needs of our neighbors or friends. we must learn to be genuine in our presentation of who we are in order to facilitate relationships that meet needs and foster change in our communities. and then we can begin to see the change we wish to be in the world.

it takes balance

life takes balance.

balance is not something we are good at in the good ole' u s of a. as a matter of personal opinion, i believe it is to blame for a lot of our problems in our country. think about it for a moment.

corporate greed -- out of balance contentment with sufficiency
failing marriages at alarming rates -- our of balance sense of commitment, what relationships should be
increasing and alarming rates of obesity -- out of balance self-care and dietary knowledge, not to mention marketing strategies of those companies promoting fast food
unchecked consumerism -- again out of balance sense of contentment with sufficiency
poverty in a country with more wealth than just about any other country in the world -- unbalanced sense of wants vs. needs on the part of those with wealth and power

i could go on for awhile, but i think the point has been made. we are out of balance.

in my own life this has shown up in several recent encounters and events.

1. my wife and i are close to closing on a house. we struggled a lot with what was enough space and how to best make a decision about location, layout, and design in order to promote a healthy balance in our lives and impact in the world. i hope we have made a conscientious and appropriate decision with the house we have chosen. what i do know is that this experience stretched me to think beyond myself. it forced me to think about how this decision would affect the unborn twin boys my wife is carrying and our relationship as husband and wife. it is by no means our dream home, but what i realized very early on is that i can be content in just about any home, but finding the balance of where contentment meets functionality is what would be significant in our search. this meant that there would be compromise on things and outright rejection of selfish wants on others.

2. i ran a relay marathon last weekend in coprus christi, tx. in some very irreverent yet genuine way, i felt that running in a city named for the body of christ was appropriate for the suffering that i inflicted upon myself. i knew i was going to run about 4.6 miles for months. i had done decent training leading up to the race, but with life surrounding me i let down the couple of weeks leading up to the race, and i paid for that. i ran poorly; i realized i was out of shape; and i came to the understanding that i have allowed my life to get out of balance in regards to exercise and self-care. i am trying to commit myself to more balance in that area in order to be a better person to be around, because i have learned that you cannot love your neighbor or your enemy if you do not first love yourself. that is why when christ tells us to love one another as we love ourselves it should have a shocking ring in our ears. we tend to love ourselves so extravagantly compared to the way we love others, but fail to do so for others. balance in our lives can lead to more authentic and significant service with and for others.

3. finally, a couple in our bible study is contemplating a job offer and move out of the area that we live in. while i have a lot of selfish reasons for wanting them to stay (i.e. i like them and they are cool people), i believe that the struggle they are experiencing in reaching a decision in the matter is one fundamentally of balance. they must find the balance of what is worth striving after and how to best care for their family and relationship. my best piece of advice is this: decide what balance is for you and make yourself resolute to maintain that balance. i believe in some ways god cares much more about us living wholly balanced lives of service in love than lives of erratic support. weighing the options of promotions, moves, family and friend connections can all seem overwhelming, but only two people know whether those things will be detrimentally out of balance if choices are made one way or another.

and in all of this, balance is not a juggling act so much as it is an exercise in self-knowledge and discernment. we must find what balance is for our own lives and protect that, even if it means, as one of my mentors once said, "saying no to jesus," because life takes balance.