on a what's going on in the world note: it's earth day. we should all care for our earth a little better today (and every day). ironically my wife didn't drive our hybrid today because we are taking it this weekend up to dallas to go to a wedding. that makes me laugh a little...and realize that i am a bit neurotic. so do something good for Mother Earth today.
i am looking for a new job. i think i mentioned that in my last post. it is a difficult process. you want everything to happen so quickly and yet so much requires a great amount of patience, which i struggle with at times. when i can see possibilities in something i am especially impatient.
but this is perhaps a curse of our culture. we are often a "hurry up and wait" culture. we want so much to happen so fast, so we can then wait for the result. seems a little out of balance to me. but we are also an impatient culture. we want immediate gratification, results, and success. we don't really know how to wait. maybe that is something that we should all work on collectively as a culture.
my brother gave me the following pearl of wisdom upon learning of my ill fate in my last job pursuit: "Good things come to those who wait and keep looking in the meantime." i found it both encouraging and appropriately prodding that i not be so quick to make things happen, rather that i exhibit a little patience in a world primed for quick results.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
the opening of possibility
monday was not all it was cracked up to be today. it was not a great day. on the one hand, i secured my wife and i two tickets to see U2 in concert when they get to Dallas, TX on their current tour: U2 360. that was all it was cracked up to be. shortly before that i found out that i was not getting hired for a job i thought i had a good shot at procuring. this is a pressing matter for me since my current job ends on may 31st.
the aforementioned job going to someone else is outside of vocational ministry. and i see this as a huge possibility. i have worked now for 6 years in vocational ministry and i have been uncomfortable for all 6 years. i often even find myself uncomfortable in the christian mainline church that i am a member of. i am called to be a member in that mainline denomination. i feel that with the same certainly that i feel i will wake up for tomorrow morning. i am not sure that i have ever truly felt called to be in vocational ministry.
let me take you back a few years, if you are unfamiliar with my personal story. at the close of my undergraduate days at Southwestern University, i felt what i would term a calling to attend seminary. i was prepared to go to public policy school and focus on educational policy, but chose instead to follow a calling to go to seminary at Perkins School of Theology at SMU. i am glad that i did this. for three years of classroom work, i learned an immense amount, and i came out on the other side of this adventure much better able to think about and articulate my own theology. however, during that time i experienced what i would call partial discernment in vocation. i decided not to pursue ordination in the the mainline christian denomination i am a member of for a myriad of reasons. while those reasons don't matter here, suffice it to say that this was shocking to a number of people, and many people still try to sway me now to reevaluate this decision. because i decided not become ordained, i had to find a suitable internship to pursue my final year of seminary. i chose to come back to Southwestern University where i completed my internship and have been subsequently employed for the past two years. currently i am seeking employment in the university setting to pursue university administration as a long term goal.
but that isn't what this is about. it is about leaving vocational ministry and feeling very comfortable with that. when i decided that i wouldn't pursue vocational ministry in my next career iteration, i felt comfortable with that decision. a lot of people asked questions, mainly focused on why in the world i spent four years to get an advanced degree to not use it in their eyes. since i have made that decision i have seen a world of possibilities open up to me that i had forgotten i even had the time to think about when i was spending all day in ministry as my job. i think the bottom line for me is that i will have the time and energy to pursue ministry opportunities that i feel passionate about instead of turning them into a job. for whatever reason, around ministry, a job takes the passion away for me.
in some ways i feel like Jonah. i don't even necessarily like Jonah, i think that he shirked his loyalty, duty, obedience, and responsibility when it was plain to him what he was supposed to do. for the most part, we tend to call these people jerks in our society. but part of me finds some sort of identity in Jonah. i feel lost like he must have felt when something seems right and wrong at the same time. i also feel the unassuredness of stepping into territory that must have looked foreign. this might not have been where he felt like he wanted to go, but this was where he was needed.
i hope the ideas and passions i have for living life together can grow and blossom into something beautiful. for me the opening of possibility is not seeing greener grass, but seeing the dead grass in a new way.
the aforementioned job going to someone else is outside of vocational ministry. and i see this as a huge possibility. i have worked now for 6 years in vocational ministry and i have been uncomfortable for all 6 years. i often even find myself uncomfortable in the christian mainline church that i am a member of. i am called to be a member in that mainline denomination. i feel that with the same certainly that i feel i will wake up for tomorrow morning. i am not sure that i have ever truly felt called to be in vocational ministry.
let me take you back a few years, if you are unfamiliar with my personal story. at the close of my undergraduate days at Southwestern University, i felt what i would term a calling to attend seminary. i was prepared to go to public policy school and focus on educational policy, but chose instead to follow a calling to go to seminary at Perkins School of Theology at SMU. i am glad that i did this. for three years of classroom work, i learned an immense amount, and i came out on the other side of this adventure much better able to think about and articulate my own theology. however, during that time i experienced what i would call partial discernment in vocation. i decided not to pursue ordination in the the mainline christian denomination i am a member of for a myriad of reasons. while those reasons don't matter here, suffice it to say that this was shocking to a number of people, and many people still try to sway me now to reevaluate this decision. because i decided not become ordained, i had to find a suitable internship to pursue my final year of seminary. i chose to come back to Southwestern University where i completed my internship and have been subsequently employed for the past two years. currently i am seeking employment in the university setting to pursue university administration as a long term goal.
but that isn't what this is about. it is about leaving vocational ministry and feeling very comfortable with that. when i decided that i wouldn't pursue vocational ministry in my next career iteration, i felt comfortable with that decision. a lot of people asked questions, mainly focused on why in the world i spent four years to get an advanced degree to not use it in their eyes. since i have made that decision i have seen a world of possibilities open up to me that i had forgotten i even had the time to think about when i was spending all day in ministry as my job. i think the bottom line for me is that i will have the time and energy to pursue ministry opportunities that i feel passionate about instead of turning them into a job. for whatever reason, around ministry, a job takes the passion away for me.
in some ways i feel like Jonah. i don't even necessarily like Jonah, i think that he shirked his loyalty, duty, obedience, and responsibility when it was plain to him what he was supposed to do. for the most part, we tend to call these people jerks in our society. but part of me finds some sort of identity in Jonah. i feel lost like he must have felt when something seems right and wrong at the same time. i also feel the unassuredness of stepping into territory that must have looked foreign. this might not have been where he felt like he wanted to go, but this was where he was needed.
i hope the ideas and passions i have for living life together can grow and blossom into something beautiful. for me the opening of possibility is not seeing greener grass, but seeing the dead grass in a new way.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
community vs. communal
many things make up a person's identity, and only some of them are we able to control. mine is made up of parents who raised me well, who taught me to think for myself, and to accept the consequences for my decisions. it is also made up of very surface level things like..i am a male...i am married...i am going to be a father in a couple of months...i am white, educated, and middle class. there a lots of things that i could write, but one things consumes me more than others when i consider what i want other people to see in me.
it is this: i care more about being communal than being in a community.
let me explain. the word community comes from the latin meaning to have something in common or shared. it is a passive word. my favorite example is this: you can move into a neighborhood, apartment complex, or any other place of residence and you are in a community. you will have neighbors, yet it will not matter. you will not be required by anyone to care about who those other people around you are. you won't be required to help them in times of struggle or to provide for them on any level. there is no expectation, other than not wanting to be the creepy one on the block, that you will do more than live peacefully where it is you reside. end of story.
but to be communal is a different story altogether. it is to be active at its core. there is no do-nothing-option, because in reality, that is doing something. striving to be communal suggests that you care about something enough to move toward it, and it is my hope that this is positive. indeed there are plenty of things that are communal and yet destructive. however, at its most basic meaning, communal means to be doing things for the common good. which also suggests that it is leaning towards selflessness. (for a more technical image of this you could think about or read about the tragedy of the commons.)
and this ultimately is what i hope people see in me. and if they don't, i wish they knew that i was striving toward this because i believe in the deepest places of my being, that in doing things communally we will truly make the world a better place.
it is this: i care more about being communal than being in a community.
let me explain. the word community comes from the latin meaning to have something in common or shared. it is a passive word. my favorite example is this: you can move into a neighborhood, apartment complex, or any other place of residence and you are in a community. you will have neighbors, yet it will not matter. you will not be required by anyone to care about who those other people around you are. you won't be required to help them in times of struggle or to provide for them on any level. there is no expectation, other than not wanting to be the creepy one on the block, that you will do more than live peacefully where it is you reside. end of story.
but to be communal is a different story altogether. it is to be active at its core. there is no do-nothing-option, because in reality, that is doing something. striving to be communal suggests that you care about something enough to move toward it, and it is my hope that this is positive. indeed there are plenty of things that are communal and yet destructive. however, at its most basic meaning, communal means to be doing things for the common good. which also suggests that it is leaning towards selflessness. (for a more technical image of this you could think about or read about the tragedy of the commons.)
and this ultimately is what i hope people see in me. and if they don't, i wish they knew that i was striving toward this because i believe in the deepest places of my being, that in doing things communally we will truly make the world a better place.
Monday, April 6, 2009
a holy week worth living
i have a close friend who is going through a tough time this week. it has brought back a lot of memories for me of a special person that graced my life. i do truly mean that he graced my life. if you knew him you would know that willie was not one to back down from a challenge of any sort. he was tenacious to say the least.
willie was smart and vivacious and taken far too soon from us, but what will be the most lasting impact that willie had for me will be two things. first, he refused to let you be anything but your best. once he glimpsed even a bit of what your potential was, he was not willing to allow you settle for less. he wasn't overbearing about it, but he wouldn't allow you to half-ass things through life. he called you out and made you a better person. he is a person who continues to drive my dreams in memory of who he was.
second, willie lived out loud. he would not hold back what he thought or believed to impress or hide things from people. he also took joy in the small things. my wedding was the first and only wedding he ever went to in his adult life. he was so excited that he made sure everything was just right and even bought us a gift with his very own money, rather than the money both his mom and i thought he had spent of his parents'.
i pray that in this holy week we can see that living the life that jesus calls us to is more than about simply believing a list of things. it is also about doing and being. ultimately it is about being the justice and righteousness of god in others lives. and that makes it about being grace in other people's lives.
willie was smart and vivacious and taken far too soon from us, but what will be the most lasting impact that willie had for me will be two things. first, he refused to let you be anything but your best. once he glimpsed even a bit of what your potential was, he was not willing to allow you settle for less. he wasn't overbearing about it, but he wouldn't allow you to half-ass things through life. he called you out and made you a better person. he is a person who continues to drive my dreams in memory of who he was.
second, willie lived out loud. he would not hold back what he thought or believed to impress or hide things from people. he also took joy in the small things. my wedding was the first and only wedding he ever went to in his adult life. he was so excited that he made sure everything was just right and even bought us a gift with his very own money, rather than the money both his mom and i thought he had spent of his parents'.
i pray that in this holy week we can see that living the life that jesus calls us to is more than about simply believing a list of things. it is also about doing and being. ultimately it is about being the justice and righteousness of god in others lives. and that makes it about being grace in other people's lives.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)