Thursday, May 21, 2009

it takes balance

life takes balance.

balance is not something we are good at in the good ole' u s of a. as a matter of personal opinion, i believe it is to blame for a lot of our problems in our country. think about it for a moment.

corporate greed -- out of balance contentment with sufficiency
failing marriages at alarming rates -- our of balance sense of commitment, what relationships should be
increasing and alarming rates of obesity -- out of balance self-care and dietary knowledge, not to mention marketing strategies of those companies promoting fast food
unchecked consumerism -- again out of balance sense of contentment with sufficiency
poverty in a country with more wealth than just about any other country in the world -- unbalanced sense of wants vs. needs on the part of those with wealth and power

i could go on for awhile, but i think the point has been made. we are out of balance.

in my own life this has shown up in several recent encounters and events.

1. my wife and i are close to closing on a house. we struggled a lot with what was enough space and how to best make a decision about location, layout, and design in order to promote a healthy balance in our lives and impact in the world. i hope we have made a conscientious and appropriate decision with the house we have chosen. what i do know is that this experience stretched me to think beyond myself. it forced me to think about how this decision would affect the unborn twin boys my wife is carrying and our relationship as husband and wife. it is by no means our dream home, but what i realized very early on is that i can be content in just about any home, but finding the balance of where contentment meets functionality is what would be significant in our search. this meant that there would be compromise on things and outright rejection of selfish wants on others.

2. i ran a relay marathon last weekend in coprus christi, tx. in some very irreverent yet genuine way, i felt that running in a city named for the body of christ was appropriate for the suffering that i inflicted upon myself. i knew i was going to run about 4.6 miles for months. i had done decent training leading up to the race, but with life surrounding me i let down the couple of weeks leading up to the race, and i paid for that. i ran poorly; i realized i was out of shape; and i came to the understanding that i have allowed my life to get out of balance in regards to exercise and self-care. i am trying to commit myself to more balance in that area in order to be a better person to be around, because i have learned that you cannot love your neighbor or your enemy if you do not first love yourself. that is why when christ tells us to love one another as we love ourselves it should have a shocking ring in our ears. we tend to love ourselves so extravagantly compared to the way we love others, but fail to do so for others. balance in our lives can lead to more authentic and significant service with and for others.

3. finally, a couple in our bible study is contemplating a job offer and move out of the area that we live in. while i have a lot of selfish reasons for wanting them to stay (i.e. i like them and they are cool people), i believe that the struggle they are experiencing in reaching a decision in the matter is one fundamentally of balance. they must find the balance of what is worth striving after and how to best care for their family and relationship. my best piece of advice is this: decide what balance is for you and make yourself resolute to maintain that balance. i believe in some ways god cares much more about us living wholly balanced lives of service in love than lives of erratic support. weighing the options of promotions, moves, family and friend connections can all seem overwhelming, but only two people know whether those things will be detrimentally out of balance if choices are made one way or another.

and in all of this, balance is not a juggling act so much as it is an exercise in self-knowledge and discernment. we must find what balance is for our own lives and protect that, even if it means, as one of my mentors once said, "saying no to jesus," because life takes balance.

1 comment:

Matt said...

arohre-
Thanks for your thoughts, your prayers and your perspective on item 3. Ultimately, we decided to turn down the opportunity.

I agree with your thoughts on balance, and I (probably as everyone does) struggle to maintain some semblance of it in my life. It seems like I always feel as though someone is getting left out. Who, or what, isn’t receiving their portion? Hope I have the right priorities…

The pursuit of balance has always raised an interesting question for me though. I think this world has been built and progressed by people that were severely out of balance. Think of the great entrepreneurs, revolutionists, military leaders, coaches, politicians (hold your jokes), and, yes… even pastors. The majority, I would offer, made huge sacrifices … which forced them OUT of balance… to accomplish their feats. Life and society as we know it would look nothing the same if these men and women had gone home at 5:00 to eat dinner with their kids.

This triggers massive questions for me. Were these people “wrong”? Were they selfish?